acid and gasoline
by whiterosealice
Summary: quinn wants to kill him, rachel dissaproves, and santana just wants to know what the hell is going on mentions faberry brittana


yeah so i own nothing just messing with other peoples creations because i am obviously too lazy to create my own and well i just love em

this a funny little idea that popped into my head while i was reading a lovely faberry fiction(yes im obsessed) and wouldnt leave me alone, so now its out of my head and hopefully i can carry on reading..so anyway enjoy the randomness that is my imagination ...

quinn pov

..acid,

that would do the job... second thoughts, no, my target could potentially survive a faceful of acid

...gasoline and matches,

easy to come by especially with friends like puck and santana, soak it into the hair light and watch the birds nest thats meant to pass as hair finally dissapears in flash of pretty flames, another bonus being burnt alive is suppose to be one of the most painful ways to die, i wont tie my target to a stake though, they dont deserve to die quickly i'd personally enjoy watching as they ran around outside screaming..hmm i suppose that would attract i am actually composing a list of ways to painfully kill not insane, really, im just little tiny bit annoyed and my targets punishment is highly justifyed!

so gasoline..

nah not painful enough and some soft sap would douse the flames,i laughed it would probably be rachel who unwittingly foiled my plan for punishment aswell, nope she's not going to know about this until its done, because then she cant be mad for something thats already done, she's always saying to forget whats happened and leave it in the past anyway, i snorted of course she's gonna be mad who am i kidding this is Berry i'm talking about here.

"quuinnn.."

i was interrupted from plotting jewfro's imminent demise by the blur of red and white that was brittany

"whats blue and smells like red paint"

if anyone but britt was to ask me this they'd of been sent straight to the mental hospital or introduced to my fist for complete idiocy

"er blue paint b"

"oh my god q your so clever!"

yes that was actually said without a hint of sarcasm.

"im going to take that as the compliment it was meant to be britt"

i patted her on the shoulder and smiled while shaking my head, ok so killing jewfro might be going to far besides britt had given me an idea, red would clash with his hair but the blue paint would bring out the colour of his eyes whilst covering the craters on his face, the mental image made me smile causing an unforunate freshman to scarper in the opposite direction, unluckily that was straight into ms sylvester causing her to spill her coffee having seen the hell that was about to comense him only once before i scoffed whilst secretly feeling sorry for him before turning to brittany

"b"

"q"

"you just saved jewfros life"

she beamed at me

"really that was nice of me wasnt it" she paused "how?"

i shook my head again smirking "it doesnt matter, but hey your kind of a hero now"

"thats really cool im kind of like poison ivy or something"

im quite sure she wasnt a super hero but hey what do i know im a cheerleader

"awesome"

"can i have a cape"

"sure"

i caught sight sight of jacob walking towards me, i winked at him, to which he looked slightly terrifyed and like the previously mentioned freshman quickly changed direction, ms sylvester had, regretably, vacated the area. i watched as he kept checking behind him as he power walked away and then laughed when when he tripped and toppled head first into the trash.

hearing the warning bell i turned to britt.

"i gotta go b, places to be, people to kil, eh erm terrorize see ya in glee"

the image of jewfro crying for mercy and covered in blue paint had me smiling as i walked and had the remaining students in the hallway clamouring in fear to get out of my path as i strolled away.

..

santana's pov

2 hours later..

"britt"

brittany stopped running in circles and glided to a hault in front of me

"s"

i frowned

"what are you doing"

"i'm wearing a cape"

i mentally face palmed and shook my head

"i can see that, but i gots to ask...why?"

"im a super hero duhr"

i was seriously tempted to raise her eyebrow but that was q's thing

"what made you think that"

"q told me i was because i saved someone called gefroz's life"

i have absolutly no idea how the HBIC's mind works and i'm one of her best friends

"b..your not a super hero"

"q said i am, and coach agrees she's going to fire me out a canon so i can practice flying"

my eye twitched

"wanna run that by me again b"

"ok, q said i am, an.."

"no, the end bit, im sure i misheard you"

"oh, coach agrees..er..and im getting fired from a canon so i can fly, and i even get a super hero suit in the school colours which is cool cuz i like them, isnt it great?"

"..."

"san... you ok?... your face is going purple.. you need to breath cuz you could like i dont know die or somet"

she ran in the general direction she had last seen the HBIC going

"QUUINNNN!"

"s theres no point asking q she will say the same thing coach did"

she was literally seething

"not if she wants to live b"

"i cant let you kill quinn s"

i stopped

"why"

"well that would make you a villan and then we wouldnt be able to hang out"

i couldnt help but smile because she thought that was actually really sweet

"what about coach sylvester"

"she doesnt count"

"really why"

brittany sighed as if she was speaking to a child before she looked around making sure no one was around before leaning close to me

"because right,she's totally not human"

now i genuinly smiled

"that actually make perfect sense b"

we linked pinkies after it was decided to find q and then to go kill or maybe not kill our coach, as we walked i glanced outside to see jewfro hanging upside down from the flagpole by his pants which were round his ankles with blue paint dripping from him giving him the appearance of a ginger smurf, i will never be able to figure out where my captain gets her ideas from.

"hey s"

"yeah"

"do you know whats weird"

"what?"

"q smiled and winked at jacob today"

"WHAT, after he squeezed berry's arse i thought she would of killed him, when was this?"

"oh it was right after you hit that cheerio for saying i was stupid cuz i didnt know what was blue and smelt like red paint, oh oh i asked quinn she's so clever she said it was blue paint, anyway right after that she got this weird look like when she see's rachel except..well actually no its not the same she looked happy but..well.. insane at the same time..really scary, thats when she said i saved gefroz's life and then she winked at him and wouldnt stop smiling"

i blinked at britt looked at jewfro on the flag pole, then at britt again before opening my mouth grinning

"b your a evil genius"

well at least now i knew where the inspiration for this crazy idea of q's came from, and it was probably really fucked up but i was really very touched that i'm not the only one who takes what britt had to say seriously

"s i dont wanna be evil, i wanna be a super hero"

"you can be both b"

i smiled and then spotted q by her locker fussing over berry AGAIN who was most likely reprimanding her over the flag pole and paint thing instead of being grateful that her personal space was now safe from disgusting perverts for probably the rest of her high school career, i decided to do my good deed for the day and rescue her from death by rambling hobbit-smurf half breeds

"you two are either sickeningly adorable or bickering like old grandmas"

berry had the the nerve to look mystifyed and exchange looks with q

"grandmas santana really?"

i grinned she was too easy

"well i was gonna say prunes, but you'll look like a raisen when your old, you are literally that tiny"

she looked to q for back up, typical, but q just smirked and said

"hey san you know thats not true..." she grinned "rach is just fun sized...hey ow, what was that for"

i knew there was a reason we were friends, i laughed as q rubbed her arm trying to get rid of the pain, i could see a bruise forming already

"wow q you gots yourself a mighty midget there, hey yoda may the force be with y..ow ..britt really i was actually complimenting her right hook"

q smirked at me

"your such a dork s, quoting star wars, come on"

"well at least i dont have a lord of the rings fetish"

"oh please ive never even seen the films"

"oh please your shagging frodo"

she flushes red and glares at me but doesnt say anything because she knows ive seen her reading the books multiple times before and britt just smiles before speaking

"i think frodo is cute,i'd totally do him"

i think i may have choked on my own spit, i scowled realizing it was a joke after she slyly high-fived berry

"santana not that i dont appreciate your company, but i was in the middle of explaining to quinn that she really needs to work on controlling her temper"

quinn pouted

"it was for a totally valid reason and he deserved it, i mean he groped you, he actually touched you with them disgusting germ infested fingers, im still feeling sick now and not only did he dare touch you, he dared to do it in front of me, granted he didnt know i was there but i have already warned him before several times,no more chances i meant it when i said it"

even i felt nauseated thinking about it and the only thing that usually makes me feel sick is sweetness overload fromm the hobbit and legolas here

"honey, you was going to push a freshman out the top floor window last week for smiling at me, although i am perfectly capable of watching out for myself, i do love that you stick up for me you do need to learn the difference between defending my honour as you call it and just plain torturing someone because you got jealous"

even britt seems to think berry should lighten up on q it seems

"i think quinn's getting much better at not being angry rach"

"what lead you to that conclusion britt?"

b continued being the genius she is

"well jacob's not dead"

i couldnt resist looking at q i quipped

"yet!"

i held up my hand to recieve a well deserved high five from q as we started laughing while berry pretended to look unamused

"oh just forget it, quinn promise me you wont torture him no more because even though he has quite an unfavourable personality and while his facial features may resemble vomit on a pigs behind,i dont condone having him hung off the flagpole"

i was speachless, quinn thought it was hilarious and britt was still working out what half the words meant, but it was a truthful and unusaully interesting rant, i seriously needs to interupt more future disagreements between the duo, its fun.

"and why may i ask cant i hang him from the flagpole as b so kindly pointed out i didnt kill him, which was my earlier plan, but since i didnt want you upset i decided to tone it down a bit"

berry is visibly swooning and im officially confused

"..you are didnt want to upset me, oh quinn you are so sweet sometimes, i love you"

b had wondered off talking about evil duckies and other stuff and q was grinning like a fool..ergh

wait what the hell

"love you too rach"

their kissing, i mean seriously, what the hell, i couldnt help it i yelled

"you gots to bo kidding me, berry, she tells you she was planning murder and the only thing you get from that sentance is i didnt want to upset you, seriously, that is so many levels of wrong, argh you two are flipping perfect for each other..fucked up but perfect and to think i didnt give your reltionship lasting two days"

the only response i recieve is the one fingered salute from..well from berry of all people, i frowned, i need to find britt because even though thanks to q she's currently under the belief she's a super hero she's probably the only person in the world thats got their priorities straight!

fin

i know my spelling and such is atrocious i'll go through it later


End file.
